Hipsteric

Photo by Marisa Page

They are ruling the new music space but most of them would probably not get into the Dark Room on a Monday night. 2009’s top 3 breakthrough indie bands have made it a memorable year. But don’t expect to see them in Nylon’s next fashion issue.

Let’s take a look at AnCo for example – also sometimes known in the real world as Animal Collective. The Brooklyn band has become the cool kids’ (and Pitchfork’s) favorite new thing in the world. But it’s sometimes hard to know if the AnCo kids are on their way to play at Pete’s Candy Store or to geek out at Blogworld – and the Spaceman shirts / oversized hoodies are not really helping. Well the truth is when you’re called (or call yourself) Panda Bear and Avey Tare that does compensate for not looking like you vintage shop by the pound.

Another good example is SF’s new music sensation: Girls. 2010 is looking promising for the Mission band and they will most likely not only play at the Bottom of the Hill this year. But it also looks like they forgot to stop at Therapy on 16th and Valencia before they started their national tour last month. We know the 1990’s are making a strong come back and the long hair / River Phoenix-ish style of the avant-garde Girls members are probably not a coincidence.

And finally Vampire Weekend. Let’s see… who do they remind you of? Is it your annoying classmate who always turns in his assignments early? Or that d-bag who reads The Economist in the 30X bus? Or maybe your co-worker who wears a “Stanford” shirt every Friday to let the whole world knows he fucking went there? Well a little of everything… and that’s the beauty of it.

Yep, not every band in 2009 looked like Nylon’s Plastiscines. And that’s probably why it was such a good year…

Tired of being too mainstream? Here are the top 10 resolutions to make 2010 your hipster year.

1. Listen to a band that hasn’t made it to Wikipedia yet

2. Stop wearing pants that have pockets you can stick your hands in.

3. Attend an art class at a state university

4. Bring back a style that’s totally old school

5. Get the best bike on the block

6. Go to a Cantora Records showcase

7. Stop liking Lady Gaga

8. Buy a Mach3 and some hair gel

9. Dance the hell out of a 1990’s party

10. Finally start watching Supernews – just because we love it

Want to give your mainstream friends a little cool touch this holiday season? Here is what you can get them:

Photo by J.

1. Some Festival Party Gear

2. A Taxidermy Mammal

3. A Faux-fur Hat

4. The Official NYC Bike Polo Shirt

5. Hipster Foldables

6. A Dinner at Bean Bag

7. AnCo’s Fall Be Kind

8. A Nice Hipster Claus Card

9. The 2010 Mustache Calendar

10. Cheerful Christmas ornaments

Photo by Marisa Page

With a strong desire to be a part of the hipster world but not quite ready to give up on expensive clothes and face cream, Barneys Hipsters emerged a few years ago looking like the love child of a yuppie and Amy Winehouse. Despite their contradictory lifestyle which violates many of the 10 immutable original hipster laws, their unconditional thirst of coolness is such that they’ve rapidly reached the golden gates of the hipstersphere.

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While Vampire-in-Chief Robert Pattinson and his pale friends are unsurprisingly popular among the masses, it seems like female hipsters too have found in the bloodsucking kind a new way to carry on the still-inexplicable Harry Potter love that started a few years ago.

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Photo by Marisa Page

For a long time the victim of persecution and abuse from the merciless hipster world, a group of former high school science contest winners with a surprising sense of fashion united to show that geeks too have the right to be cool. Spreading faster than the ILOVEYOU virus, MacHipsters officially claimed their existence in the early 2000’s, openly admitting their dual addiction to skinny jeans and any form of new, overpriced technology – especially if it has an Apple on it.

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Photo by Marisa Page

With the unstoppable, increasing demand for coolness from the masses, every major corporation is fighting to get a share of the hipster market. So no one was really surprised when Disney decided to leverage that business opportunity too.

It was in 2006 that Mickey realized the potential of skinny jeans. All the entertainment giant needed was its own breed of hipsters that fits the brand’s values – family, fun, and purity rings. Disney found the perfect candidates in the Jonas Brothers: three evangelical Christians imported straight from Arizona that could actually play an instrument other than piano and willing to trade their Abercrombie & Fitch bermudas for skinny jeans to fit in Mickey’s world.

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UO is selling it.

Molly Young is blogging about it.

And Arcade Fire is singing it.

‘Where the Wild Things Are’ opens on 10/16/09

Photo by Marisa Page

It’s no news that everyone in Hollywood is actively working on showing off their coolest side. But this time things have gone even more hipsteric than the day Lindsay Lohan stopped wearing pants. After Mickey and Shia LaBoeuf, HBO too has understood the potential of skinny jeans. The cable giant proudly announced yesterday that cool kids will soon be making their debut on the small screen with ‘Stitch N’ Bitch’. Co-written by Hollywood Hipster Ellen Page, HBO’s new series will tell the story of two cool girls from Williamsburg that decide to migrate to new indie haven Silverlake in order to pursue their ‘art’.

So what’s next? Ari trading his Ferrari for a fixie?

Photo by Marisa Page

Generally made of ex-traditional hipsters recovering from an excess of indie parties and vintage shopping, the Vegan Hipster category is currently one of the fastest developing breeds.  Very popular in progressive hipster areas (pretty much the entire West Coast except some pockets of OC), Vegan Hipsters define themselves by a green, healthy lifestyle exclusively made of nuts and soy-based products (also known as bird food).

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Being a hipster is a true commitment; a lifestyle. And certain rules do apply. Here are the 10 immutable laws the authentic, original hipster must follow with dedication and no exception:

#1. Graduate you will… just not right away. Longtime students, hipsters almost exclusively attend film and liberal art schools. However a new kind of Ivy League hipsters has lately emerged attending veterinarian or law school and leveraging the opportunity to study at least an extra 5 years. The hipster graduation age averages between 29 and 35. When getting a job (excluding coffee shops, Trader Joes and the Apple store), hipsters automatically lose their hipster status.

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Have you noticed how everybody is suddenly starting to look like the kids behind the cash register at Whole Foods? It started a few of years ago at Christmas when your sister-in-law from Idaho asked you where she could buy a pair of leggings. Then a few months later that financial dude in REI pants that sits next to you at work was buying tickets for the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. And finally, last week, even you caught yourself trying on that pair of overpriced Ray Bans.

Yes, the world has turned hipsteric and everybody now owns a pair of skinny jeans. But if your little cousin and Robert Pattinson wear an oversized cardigan does that really make them hipsters? Who are the real hipsters and why don’t they want to be referred as hipsters? Where did they migrate since Google’s IPO made San Francisco unaffordable and Michelle Williams moved to Williamsburg? Why do they have animals tattooed on their forearms? Understanding (and being) a hipster is not as easy as it used to be. Well, that’s where we step in and hope to help. If you want to know whether American Apparel really still is the place where hipsters buy their low-cut V-neck shirts, this is the place to find out. From all the different hipster breeds to the indie world’s finest news, we will cover everything in here, but mostly hope to give everybody a good time. Got a hipster story, question, video…? Send it.

Oh and of course if you belong to the almost-extinct specie that fascinates us all and would like to tell the world why you it is so wrong to wear boot cut jeans, this is also a place for you to have fun so hit us with all your shout outs. Enjoy!